Saturday, August 20, 2011

About respect and writing

I vented about this on Twitter last night, but it didn't leave me alone like I thought it would.

When we write, and by we, I mean us females who write M/M-romance, we get so much prejudice, so much "You can't do that" thrown our way it feels that much worse, when we get it from another writer.

Now, I'm thinking the issue is mostly "girls can't write guy/guy"-stuff. Bullshit. Anyone who is creative, has the words and the emotions, can write what ever they want. It's just about being a good writer.

We also have people who write to aspire being The Great M/M-romance Writer, and then we have people like yours truly, who wants to write for people who like to read for the entertainment value. I don't CARE if I'm the next big thing out there, but I do respect those who actually are. I'm not ambitious like that, I write because I have no choice.

Now, then there are people who look down on us poor beings who write entertainment. And I'm looking at one certain male author at the moment, singling him out because he singled us out first. I read his "how to write M/M-romance"-guide, and it came across terribly prejudiced and condescending. There was no respect what so ever for us who like to write things he doesn't write.

In fact, this gentleman takes it as far as making this prejudice and disrespect part of his own books. There is a series of his that I liked a lot, that didn't contain this as much as the NEXT series did. The next series... Let's just say, the main character is a writer who dislikes and mocks everything he doesn't like. This, incidentally, is exactly what the author of the series does not write.

So when did he turn his writing, which by the way is pretty good all the time, award-winning even, into a tool for disrespecting the people who don't write the kind of books he does? I don't know, and I frankly don't care. He's talented, he is, but when he works something like this into his books, I just throw my hands up and wonder what the hell did he and/or his editor see in this next quote.

She was a big girl. A very, very big girl. One of those very big girls who you fear won’t live to see forty if they don’t take action now.

Is this how he sees all women that are "big"? Is this just how he sees "big" women that are writers (as the character referred to in the quote just happens to be)?

Whatever the reason of this sort of politically very incorrect sh—stuff being published by someone who is supposed to be an author for us to look up to, I only have one thing to say; I quit.

I quit reading his books, and I'll hold my chubby head up high and keep writing stuff that I and my readers find entertaining. They might never be the next big thing that wins awards, but hey, at least I did my best?


  1. Respect is a sadly rare commidity these days. It is one thing to disagree with someone respectuflly--I do it all the time. The key is to insert words like "in my opinion", and to be clear that one doesn't consider their opinion the final word on any given subject (because really, there aren't very many experts of that magnitude in the world).

    Sadly, also, I've seen book reviews on Amazon for m/m erotica where the revierwer--usually either a sanctamonious male or someone so uptight I don't know what they were doing reading erotica to begin with--who claim women have no business writing m/m. Okay, sure there are times when I have to turn to my male friends and ask "can the male body do *this*?" Sometimes they say 'yes' and sometimes they say 'ouch!' and wince just thinking about it. Hey, I'm a girl, I admit it.

    But seriously, romance is about the emotional connection between two (or more) people. Male, female, it doesn't matter who you are, if you're creative, if you have the passion to write, you CAN write that. No one, and I mean NO ONE has the right to say you can't.

    As for the writers who get on their little soapboxes... don't get me started. There is a very well known and frankly formerly favorite-of-mine fantasy author whose work I won't touch because of a truly horrible thing she said to her fans, ABOUT her fans. If a writer can't respect me, why should I respect him or her?

    I am glad I'm not familiar with the fellow you're talking about... and I will hold my chubby head up right next to yours, Tia!

  2. Q - In what way was his comment about big girls inaccurate?

    A - Not at all. He was merely being forthright and factual. So why sugar-coat the truth because it might possibly "offend" someone?

  3. Q - When was it okay to anonymously comment on blog posts?

    A - Ever since you don't have the balls to use your own name.

    On another note: He might be accurate, but frankly his choice of words was offensive and a writer like him should know better than to use such language. With fine-tuning that sentence he alienated not only me, but probably a lot of other readers as well.

    If you're not being PC, you should at least be non-PC with some style and dignity. That's all.

  4. The only thing I find offensive is people who purport to take offense at what amounts to basic honesty.

    As one of our founding fathers said, "He who dares not offend can never be honest."

    As for anonymity, the blog allows it, so why not?