I'm at Sue Brown's blog

...as usual, rambling. This time it's about the shifter genre in M/M romance.

Click here to read the post.

YAM LGBT Blogathon -- The awesomeness of QaF

Since I'm all for abbreviations and this post is for the YAM GLBT Blogathon, I thought I'd write about QaF. That, to those who don't know, is Queer as Folk. 

Now, Queer as Folk was a huge thing back in the day when it was originally on TV. The original, British version only ran for one season and one TV-movie, but it laid a foundation for the American version that became huge. What the shows had in common was the frank sexuality and showing the urban gay lifestyle in a way no one had seen before, not on TV. 

The American version of Queer as Folk ran from 2000 to 2005 for five glorious seasons. Whereas the UK version had the main characters more archetypes than actual characters you could take seriously, the US show managed to pull off much more than that. In QaF US, we see some serious arches and character development. In fact the growth the writers managed to pack into five seasons is staggering, if you compare it to some other drama shows out there.

Now, as many of you may know, QaF US was the first show on American TV to portray a simulated explicit sex scene between two male characters. And what a scene it was…. Not only do we see a scene between two men, we see a scene where someone loses his virginity. We see—even though we really don't see it—anal sex, rimming, even. When was the last time you saw either of those things on TV? Yeah, it's still not something you see in a regular drama show, yet this show did it twelve years ago.

I have to say I didn't see the show before a couple of years ago. I do, however, remember being in my early twenties when it was shown here in Finland, and I was so bummed the channel it was on was out of my reach at the time. Back then, I was a young, out and proud, so even though we didn't get The L Word until 2004, there was a LGBT show there already. In some ways, The L Word did to lesbians what Queer as Folk did to gay men.

What struck me first, when I started to watch QaF myself, was the frank portrayal of sex. I was shocked. Not because I'm easily surprised or don't approve of showing sex on TV, but because it was a ten-years-old show I was watching. Naturally, I enjoyed those bits, as do most of the people watching it, but soon I began to realize the other awesome things.

First of all, we get to see gay life. That's something refreshing in itself, but huge for us LGBTQ-people who get to see the straight lifestyle portrayed in every show we see. Many straight people never understand what we go through in our daily lives, let alone in general, just because we were born different.

The topics QaF covered went from the relatively ordinary things—like coming out, the club culture, safe sex, gay adoption, internet porn (also as an industry) and discrimination—to the things many people never even think of—like conversion therapy, underage prostitution and violence.

Secondly, the cast was well-thought, and the dialogue was spot on. What I also love are the contrasts it show. From the friendship between Brian and Michael, to the relationships Justin had with Brian and Ethan, to the lesbian couple's struggles compared to those the gay couples had. Even the two main mother-figures of the show—Debbie who was not only Michael's mother, but pretty much the only supportive mother Brian ever had, and Justin's mother Jennifer—were two very different women. At first they were different from each other, then later different from the other mothers (Brian and Lindsay's mothers, for example).

The subplots in the series are various and varied, and they are always meaningful or, at least, funny. The humor in the show is one of the major things that make it work so well. While the themes are often really heavy and heartbreaking, the humorous events and the witty dialogue make things easier to bear. Anyone who has seen the show remembers the hilarity when Debbie started dating and Emmett and Ted gave her certain tips…. But we also remember the end of season 1 and the subsequent horribleness….

If you've never seen the show and plan on beginning, please make sure you have a couple of episodes of season 2 also. When you get to the end of S01, you'll thank me. Trust me on this.

Queer as Folk has something for everyone. If you want the hot gay sex, you have it. If you're looking for serious themes, yep, they're there. Looking for fun? I can quarantee you'll laugh your butt off.

One of the best things Queer as Folk US gave us is Brian Kinney. Why? Watch the show and find out.

Contest Winners!

I promised to post about who won the contest I held at the Dreamspinner Blog.

I've contacted the winners and they've selected their prizes. :) If you didn't get an email, sorry, you didn't win this time.

BUT! There will be other contest this summer and in the autumn, so don't worry, you'll have your chance!

Thank you so much, everyone who participated. I loved to read your answers. :)

Once again, congratulations Jessie, Monica, Judi and Sabrina, I hope you enjoy your prizes!

Have a nice springtime!

My only comment about Fifty Shades (and it isn't even mine)

Today I'm reblogging a post. This is from a good friend of mine and she put my thoughts into words better than I ever could.

Fifty Shades & The “Philadelphia Incident” (as originally posted by hidingfromsome1)

I’m not really sure if this is the best place to voice these opinions and concerns. And I’m not really sure if it’s my place to be voicing them at all. This whole topic isn’t easy for me to discuss (it’s very personal) but I’ve never been very good at keeping my mouth shut when I think I have a point to make. 

So - I’ve found over recent weeks two different hot topics that I’ve been paying attention to have apparently dovetailed.

I’m talking about the Fifty Shades of Grey series, an adapted Twilight- fan fiction which has been published and hit the New York Times Bestsellers list, and what people in the BDSM community have been calling the “Philadelphia Incident”.

To briefly bring those not familiar with either topic up to date; Fifty Shades of Grey is a story that deals with a young, naive virgin who enters into a domination and submission relationship with an older, powerful, controlling man. Eventually she manages to bring out his softer side and the two fall in love.

The “Philadelphia Incident” concerns a younger, inexperienced female submissive who entered into a domination and submission relationship with an older dominant man. Her limits were violated and she was forced to enter into oral sex with the man against her will. Some people in the BDSM community are calling this rape. Some people have suggested that the submissive woman consented. Others have criticised the submissive woman for not fully understanding what she was getting herself into. The young woman has now been run out of her home due to the criticism, publicity and notoriety she has faced.

Hopefully my point is already becoming clear.

In her novels E L James romanticizes the BDSM community, takes elements of ‘play’ out of context and dramatises what many would consider to be extremely unsafe D/s practice. The female in the story enters into ‘scenes’ which she is unsure about, where limits have not been pre-discussed or agreed, and where she is abandoned post-scene on more than one occasion with no after care or conversation about what had happened during the session.

The novel completely ignores elements of safe play that those familiar with the BDSM community would immediately recognise. RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. SSC stands for Safe, Sane and Consensual. (Note the repeated word in both anagrams). This topic is completely ignored or glossed over in James’ novels and, considering the reaction they have amassed, this is a concern.

Safe BDSM play can be amazing. I can say this as someone who has both dominated others and submitted to others in a range of situations. It is something that I rarely discuss other than with those in the community for fear of repercussions - BDSM is fairly misunderstood by the wider public. In the right circumstances, with the right forethought, planning, and discussion then there are still hundreds of ways a session can go wrong. I have been mid-session with someone who I love very much, in a safe place, when we were both fully aware of each other’s limits. And I panicked. And ended up vomiting into the toilet and crying into his chest. This was an isolated incident, and we weren’t doing anything particularly risky at the time. But I still panicked. Fortunately my partner was fantastic at releasing me quickly and soothing me afterwards. Even with the best of intentions things can still go very wrong.

Although I have not followed reaction to James’ novel closely, one article I recently read criticising the BDSM elements in the story was met with comments from a reader expressing that the story is fantasy, not unlike the Harry Potter stories or Twilight, and not as a how-to guide of BDSM.

Firstly, thank God this isn’t a how-to guide of BDSM because James clearly has little, if any experience of D/s relationships. Secondly, this point in particular scared me more than any other I read.

If one was to dress in a cloak and wand and pretend to be a wizard, short of poking an eye out there is a limited amount of danger that could occur.

If a young woman with no experience of BDSM was to make her way into the community and play with an older man when she herself was unaware of her own limits, very terrible things can happen, as demonstrated recently in Philadelphia. Comparing Fifty Shades to Harry Potter is simply ludicrous, on many levels. There are many different layers and elements to BDSM, starting at fluffy handcuffs and ending in blood, tears and rape. Someone pretending to be a wizard will not experience these things.

The second point made by the same commenter was that James never intended for the novel to be so popular, it was released for a very small audience only and she was surprised at the reaction it has received. I don’t think this argument holds much weight either. I’m writing this article for the consumption of a very small audience too. I do not expect many people to read or react to it. Does that excuse me from factual accuracy? Not at all. If my article goes viral and thousands of people read it then I am still responsible for the words that I have put out there.

Finally, I want to reiterate that a huge majority of people in the BDSM community recognise our vulnerability (BDSM is actually illegal in the United States - yes, illegal - I’m fortunate to live in the UK) and as such, instances such as the “Philadelphia Incident” are rare. Most people play by the rules of RACK. Most people are responsible for themselves, for their partners, and there is a strong sense of ‘mentoring’ to ensure that newbies to the community are watched and are able to learn from those with more experience. Despite all this, it’s too easy for things to be taken just that one step too far with disastrous results.

I feel like it is my responsibility as one of the people who bridges the gap between the BDSM community and the Fifty Shades readership to speak out against the practices shown in the series. Please, please - if you are a single woman who has read these stories and wants to explore the topics contained therein, do everything you can to not follow in the footsteps of both E L James’ characters and the young girl in Philadelphia. Take your time. Find someone you can trust. Be safe. 

(Please feel free to re-blog, re-post, re-tweet, link, copy, plagiarize, do whatever the hell you want with the above. It would be nice if you credited it back to me but in truth, if you want to stick this somewhere else where it might be seen by more people, please, do it. I’m not precious. Spread the word.)

About bullies and bitches

I'm the first person to tell you that I'm a bitch. Yes, I am also just and fair and honest to a fault, but there's a bitch within me that occasionally bubbles out and does damage to the deserving, mostly.

Yesterday was a really odd day for me. I tried to correct someone's phrasing on Twitter, because frankly it made them sound racist and that just doesn't fly, and they totally blew up on my face. If you follow me on Twitter, you know who exactly I'm talking about, and possibly know the carnage that happened after he got ticked off at me and the world and then took it out on certain individuals and finally groups of people who were his fans. WERE. Past tense, I assume, after the rant and bullying and offensive language he used against fans who frankly pay his bills. He alienated quite a few of those fans by calling them, us, names, being a misogynistic, raging man who very obviously has even more problems that most of us ever thought he had.

Not that anything about that was truly a surprise, after all he had been abusive, as most of us who follow the world of gay porn know. What I never ever expected, was to be called stupid by someone online, someone who has a certain profile to maintain and who, in a sense, caters to his fans. More than anything, I never expected to be called names in such a mean way by someone I have never met or talked to in person.

I tend to try and see the good in people, but after being bullied and attacked over something so trivial as suggesting re-phrasing in a sensitive issue, the bitch in me comes out. Yes, was I truly bitchy and did I say things about the man, hours later than it all started (for me personally) as I watched him insult people that I now call online friends and acquaintances.

Should I have kept my mouth shut? Obviously, but the bitchy side in me that was born twenty years ago after being bullied in school and decided that she would NEVER be bullied again kind of snapped.

He was being sad, pathetic and in those ways, extremely amusing, showing his true colors for everyone to see. Like his ex states in this interview (that deals with the aftermath of that abusive relationship and tells the story of an extremely brave young man who survived it all), a zebra is never free of his stripes. No matter how he tries to hide them, they will be out there for everyone to see, eventually.

Also, Devon Hunter wrote a blog post, as did JP Barnaby (who did that interview with the said young man) and if you're interested in seeing more of what took place, do click on the links. Like JP states, internet is forever, and despite the tweets not being there in this person's timeline (he deleted the worst of it at some point) most of them are surely saved on several hard drives all over the world, because that's how the modern (internet) world works.

It's summertime alright...

I'm melting. Like...almost literally. And not because I saw something cute. It's WAY TOO HOT in here! I'm one of those people who are most content around 23-24C (roughly low seventies in Fahrenheit). Today, and for the last few days, it's been around 27-33C (eighties in F). I can't...just...no. At least I have a fan to keep me cool during the night. (Instead of a fan who would make the nights hotter... now that's a thought...)

I really have been a bad author with this blogging-thing. There are a few positive things though, that I'd like to mention.

I have my July novella's release date. Auld Lang Syne will be out July 20th, so that's SOON. Yay! It's also on Goodreads already and on Dreamspinner's Coming Soon-page.

My nerdy self is absolutely delighted over my new Bazinga!- t shirt (you get cookie points for knowing this reference).

I've been reading more than I've been writing, though a plot bunny swept me away yesterday and made me write about 1k words down before I forgot them. I still have two other stories as WIPs and much more started. Trying to work on those two first.

Oh! There's the Hot July Days-event in the Goodreads M/M Romance-group and it's already in progress! My story, Hawk's Sparrow, will be up eventually, so go join the group and take a look of the wonderful stories already posted! :)

That's about it! Until next time,

- Tia